I have to admit, when soccer season started this year, I wanted to bail before the first practice.

I was not looking forward to all the mud-filled, crouching-under-an-umbrella-in-the-freezing-rain hours on the sidelines, grasping the cup of hot cocoa like it was my lifeline, as I cheered a group of 8-year-olds to score a goal. I wasn’t looking forward to bringing Hefty bags with me in the car each time we hit the fields in order to bag up the mud-caked shin guards, cleats and soccer socks that inevitably made themselves inside-out upon their removal and would now be even more fun to turn right side before depositing into the washing machine before their stench took over the entire house!

But I had to put all that aside, because darn it, my son wanted to play soccer.

So we paid the fees, bought the equipment and a new ball, since he’s moved up a level, and gave lots of pep talks to get the season started out right.

Then, we met with our coach (finally, after a delay in processing our registration - lucky us!) and learned that his wife had signed him up and he was less than happy about it. He showed up in flip flops to our first practice and approximately 75% of all practices and games to follow. He recruited my poor husband, who has never played a day of soccer in his life, to be his assistant coach and asked him to coach several practices at the last minute, leaving me scouring the internet to find fun drills and exercises for the kids to do (which, by the way, there are a ton of if you know where to look). He wasn’t a bad guy, just not that into it — or the kids.

But we put on our game faces. We shared our frustrations with the program and the coach behind closed doors. We didn’t want to infect Wyatt with our negativity when he was so eager to play.

After a few weeks of practice, his mood began to suffer though.

The kids on the team were a little rowdy and unfocused, which was hard for our little guy, who likes order and rules and thrives in environments where these are followed.

“It’ll be okay,” we would tell him when he’d complain that the team had to run laps because 3 boys were fighting.

“Sometimes you just have to stick it out,” we’d repeat over and over again until we thought he was convinced that we actually believed it too.

“Next year will be different,” we’d say, assuring him that he’d been pretty lucky thus far in the teams he had been placed on, and you can’t win them all.

“I wish I was on another team,” he’d say softly, after another practice gone wrong or game lost because the boys on the team were horsing around.

All I had to do was look at his face, defeated and sad, to feel sorry for him.

But we couldn’t let him quit. As difficult it was to hear him say “I don’t want to play anymore,” we had to hide our own frustrations and be his cheerleaders.

Sports programs at young ages can be incredibly rewarding, entertaining, fun and educational in the best situations. Kids have the opportunities to learn the basics of the games and develop their skills at a pace comfortable for them. They also have to learn to deal with defeat, not winning and teammates who may not be doing their part. This is also part of learning the game.

We cannot let our kids give up simply because they “aren’t having a good time”. If we let them quit, what does that teach them?

I believe that it teaches them that quitting is fine, and it is okay not to keep your word, or your commitment to your team.

Obviously, there are times when it may be necessary to stop playing, for example, when a child suffers an injury or the program is inflicting more harm than good upon your child and your family. And it is our job, as parents to be able to recognize these situations.

But allowing a less than ideal coach and team dictate your child’s participation with a particular program will teach your child that if something is not perfect, than it is not worth his/her time. And I think that is wrong. I believe that even in these less than perfect situations, kids are learning. They are learning how to deal with adversity, different personalities, and challenging themselves to get through it.

If we, as parents, keep cheering them on (while allowing them lots of time to “discuss” their feelings, of course) to the end of the season, I think we will find that it was not a waste of time after all.

And we will not be on the fast-track to raising a quitter.

Carrie is a stay-at-home mother of three and wife to one busy firefighter.  You can read more of her mommy meanderings at her personal blog, Third Time’s a Charm? , or email her with ideas, comments or suggestions at carrieb@seattlemomblogs.com.