While yes it’s true, I’m a full time working mom, it’s also true that my husband works full time. (It must also be noted that he has a part time job that involves him building us a new house, from scratch, with his bare hands.) Neither one of us has a job that is more important then the other. Neither of us makes more money then the other.
We’re pretty even in the career-front aspect of our marriage.
So while we’re even in our making-money-prospects, I’m still the one that has to leave work when I get The Phone Call.
You know the call I’m talking about. The one that starts with “Hi Isabel. This is Mary from the daycare. Your son is running a fever.” As soon as I hang up, I have 30 minutes to pack up my laptop, some work that I can do from home, and run to the daycare to pick up my Sweet Babboo. And since he has a fever, he isn’t allowed to go back to daycare for the next 24 hours. That means I’ll be missing two days of work.
One night last week was spent with my husband on the floor, holding a bowl over my son’s mouth, trying desperately to catch his vomit. Thankfully, my husband took one for the team and worked from home the next day so I could go to work. It was awesome for me.
Okay, so he stayed home with the sick kid. This one time. This only time.
Tuesday morning, after dropping a healthy and happy kid off at daycare, I got The Call. I raced begrudgingly headed to the daycare and picked up my crying toddler. Yep, it was me that went. No option of my husband leaving work that day. Or the next day.
Why, oh why, is it me? Why does the daycare seem to have my number on speed-dial?
And dude, why do I have such a huge chip on my shoulder about this?
Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.
If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “Double duty. One paycheck.”, email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Stephanie // Jan 25, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Think about it this way, if you were a work-at-home mom (because mom’s that stay home definitely WORK) they would call you and not your hubs. It doesn’t matter if you have an employer or not, they call YOU because you’re the mom. It’s really your husband that should be offended, because they clearly don’t feel that men can take care of sick bebes. Are they wrong?
2 Marsha // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I find it odd they always call the mom first too. I guess I did fill out the paperwork, and put myself as the primary parent. I have to give my husband kudos here and say we usually share the responsibility. Luckily we both have flexible enough jobs, he owns a business, and I have a lot of sick days and understanding boss. We will often do half days or I take one day, and he takes the next. He knows I have days I can’t miss, as does he. If those days conflict, we call in grandma!
3 In the fight against beef jerky, the jerky is winning | hola, isabel // Apr 16, 2008 at 12:21 pm
[...] Oh yeah, and I wrote a post over at SeattleMomBlogs. [...]
4 Michelle // Apr 22, 2008 at 1:26 am
I work fulltime and my hubby is a student at UW. Which means that I make all the money and provide all the benefits for us. Yet when The Call comes, it’s me that has to leave work because hubby can’t miss class and theoretically I can “work from home”. That’s not what actually happens though because my toddler spends the whole day “helping” me type, whining for attention, and getting into stuff he’s not supposed to. That’s in addition to needing to be fed and cared for. Seriously, I can’t do my job. Even after my hubby graduates, I will still have twice the earning power he does, yet I will still be the one to take The Call because he’s a teacher and can’t leave school. *sigh* My hubby took one for the team and skipped two days of school this quarter. That was nice, but I took the other three days that week plus two days the week before plus two days two weeks later. My constant absences and missed deadlines are definitely being noticed at work, and consequently I got a lousy raise this year. We have no family in the area at all to help. Yes, I have a huge chip on my shoulder about this because I’m supposed to be the provider for the family, and if my job falls apart then so will our lifestyle and stability. The situation is untenable, but I don’t see a workable solution. I can’t believe I’m this frustrated and the kid is only 1 year old! So I feel your pain, sister.
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