Kids and the City

Transitions

I remember thinking (keyword: thinking) that I was pretty on top of the whole parenting gig when my first-born was reaching important milestones.

He scoots forward on his bottom? Oh! He is exhibiting pre-crawling movements!

He rakes at the Cheerios on his high chair tray? Yippee! The beginnings of being able to grab something!

When he repeated, “ma ma ma ma ma,” I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I heard him say, “mama.”

It wasn’t a surprise that as he grew and developed, his personality began to unfold itself while he was going through some exciting developmental stages. One of these traits that began to rear it’s ugly head was his need to know exactly what was coming next. And since he was my first, I probably had a lot to do with fostering this “I need to know” behavior because I talked to him all the time. Without knowing it then, I informed him of what was coming - constantly.

What can I say? My husband was always at work and I had nobody else to talk to that was over the age of 2!

Eleven years later, and my sons constant need-to-know-everything personality is still going strong. He needs to know what time we are going to leave to go anywhere. He needs to know what to expect if there is a change in his morning routine. He is already obsessing about what time we’ll need to leave the house for school next year when he begins middle school.

Speaking of middle, thank goodness for middle children.

I think having the boys 18 months apart served my middle child well in regards to being an easy-going person. Never does he ask, “when are we leaving mom?” Never does he care if I ask him to throw on some shoes because we’re late and it’s time to go! He just goes with the flow, like a good middle child should.

Hopefully he can tell time.

Finally there is my little girl. My baby. My last child ever (excuse me while I sniffle in my tissue). She is almost like another firstborn in that her personality, and the fact that she came around when her brothers were 5 & 6, makes her stand alone in the whole birth order philosophy train of thought.

But the other day, her likeness to her oldest brother became glaringly clear to me - beyond a doubt. I don’t know why I hadn’t realized it sooner, but she needs to know exactly what everyone is doing and what is next on her own little agenda at all hours of the day. Without this all-important knowledge, she falls apart. Like no other 4-year-old girl drama, she will become this whiny, screechy, howling, demanding little dictator.

And I want to run for the hills.

I should’ve seen this coming. I should be prepared for this. But with my 3rd child, I’ve let my guard down a bit too much.

I blame the middle child. He was just too easy.

I’m ruined.

Carrie is a stay-at-home mother of three and wife to one busy firefighter. You can read more of Carrie’s mothering meanderings at her personal blog, Third Time’s A Charm? Please send suggestions to carrieb[at]seattlemomblogs.com.