Crazy Much

Mama Gets Into the Groove

With two kids under five and my tendency to fly by the seat of my pants, our days were beginning to look a lot like chaos.

Ear-splitting, soul-sucking chaos.

Having no structure seemed to work fine when Orlando wasn’t much more than a toddler, but now he’s almost five and has a toddler brother. After too many days feeling totally overwhelmed by the dailyness of every day, I decided it might behoove me to search out a smoother groove.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far…

Create routine

Note to self: If I turn on the computer before breakfast, the morning usually goes straight to heck, in a super-fast, fires-a-blazing hand-basket.

I started doing the same things in the same order every morning and made a point of naming our activities.

This helps set the kids’ (and my own) expectations, and we feel a bit more relaxed knowing there will be time for our own stuff throughout the day.

So far, we only do the mornings:

• We wake, make breakfast, eat, and clean up plates.
• The boys play on their own while I clean up the kitchen (which means I make a small dent in days’ worth of dishes).
• Sometimes I even start cooking dinner (see below).
• Next comes Cuddle Time — the time of day when I actually play with my kids. We generally sit on the couch together while Orlando thinks up games and characters and I go along. Mica tools around, doing his own thing or joining in. I tell myself that I can give them at least a half an hour.
• After Cuddle Time, the kids get dressed and play outside while I make phone calls/do computer/prepare snacks (and lunch if we’re heading out later).

Define each day
In general, I try to balance being engaged and being open; and between our home feeling like a Stir-Crazy Shack and a Happy Haven.

Most of our activities are flexible with a few committed classes thrown in, but I started emphasizing one activity per day. For example, “Circus class day” or “At home day.” This helps bring focus to our day and keeps us from overscheduling. Plus, Orlando seems to dig it — he often asks, “What is this day, Mama?”

Get outside
It almost always changes our energy for the better.

I toss the kids out in the yard, or set out for a walk — to the woods, through the neighborhood, sometimes stopping at a park, café, or the library. Which is how I end up talking to my neighbors in my dirty yoga pants. But hey, the kids are happy and I am free!free!free! (at least for a few minutes).

Plan meals and cook ahead
We finally gave in to the Menu Plan. And thank lawsy! We are eating well, have lots of leftovers for snacks and lunch, and almost always have everything on hand when we need it.

(We’re on Week Three. I’ll let you know how it is by Week Seventeen.)

I sometimes cook all or part of dinner right after breakfast. We’re almost always home in the mornings (and not very often in the afternoons) and the kids tend to be more cheerful then — Mica doesn’t have the incessant need to be on my hip and Orlando usually wants to help with the preparations.

Remember respect
I have really fallen out of the habit of this one.

There have been a lot of demands around here lately, from all parties. I’ve been trying to slow down and formulate my needs and preferences before saying anything. Then I’m able to make a request rather than a demand (i.e., “Listen to me!” and “Be quiet!” are not requests).




Sometimes I feel funny writing this kind of stuff. It all sounds so squeaky clean and a bit snooty. And to top it off, sometimes none of these things even “work.” I still have days when the house is a disaster, the kids are dirty and hungry, and I’m in a slump on the couch by 2 PM.

I go in and out of the groove. And that’s all right, because each time my dance moves get a little bit sweeter.

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Read more of Stacy’s writing at Mama-Om. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “Crazy Much?” email stacy[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com. I’d love to hear from you!

All photos in this post are by Stacy Lewis.