Double Duty. One Paycheck.

Tips to help if you’re being sexually harassed at work

Have any of you seen “Mad Men” on AMC?

What about “Swingtown” on CBS?

I’ve been watching both of them lately and dude let me tell you, the ladies on that show are being sexually harassed left and right. “Mad Men” is set in the 1950’s where there are typing pools and secretary’s who are working at an office for the sole purpose of finding a husband. Once you get married and have babies, the ladies no longer work out of the home.

Swingtown is set in the 1970’s, and although it’s twenty years after “Mad Men”, the show also portrays women staying home after they are married. One character on the show recently reentered the work force after her husband was fired from his job. She wasn’t there five minutes before her butt was grabbed by the boss.

He grabbed her butt. Totally out in the open for all to see. When she looked at a coworker for support he just said, “get used to it”.

Get used to it? That so wouldn’t fly in 2008.

Except, would it?

How many women (and men) out there are being sexually harassed? And how do you know if you’re being sexually harassed? I would constitute any situation that makes you uncomfortable is well, unacceptable. You know if someone is doing or saying things to you that aren’t right. I would say that being touched by a coworker in any way is inappropriate.

You’ll know if you’re being sexually harassed.

According to Seema Goswami, the author of “Woman on Top: How To Get Ahead At Work” you might try saying to an overly physical coworker; ‘I’m sorry, but would you mind removing your hand from my back. I know you don’t mean any harm, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable.’ If he stands too close to you in the lift (elevator) or presses up again the back of your chair, don’t just edge away. Turn around, look him in the eye, and say, ‘I’m sure you don’t realize it, but you are crowding me. Do you mind standing back a little? I’d really appreciate it.’”

It is best to remain non confrontational and away from others.

Seema Goswami says that odds are, if this person is harassing you they’ve done it before. She suggests that you discreetly ask around to see if others feel the same way you do.

My mom always taught me to write things down. Get a notebook and write down when anything fishy happens. Make a note of the day, time, and what was done/said. You might want to even write down what you were wearing and what you said. Just to avoid anyone saying that you were “asking for it”. Better safe then sorry.

Take this information in with you when you meet with your local Human Resources department. Make sure they know what your complaints are, whether they be inappropriate touching, dirty or racist comments, or flat out being told you won’t get a promotion unless you wear shorter skirts and lower tops.

You HR department should know how to deal with this. They may take the offender aside and have a confidential discussion with them. They may hold a company wide “harassment training” to remind everyone of your company’s policies. If this isn’t a first offense, they may just terminate the offending employee.

Seema Goswami has a list of ways to cope with sexual harassment that I would like to pass on in closing:

• Speak up if you feel that the office has been sexualized.
• Articulate your concerns in the most non-confrontational manner possible. The idea is not to go on the offensive but to lay down boundaries of acceptable behavior.
• Ask around discreetly and find out if anyone else has been targeted by your harasser. If you have to register a formal complain, their corroborative evidence will help you build your case.
• Take a colleague or sympathetic senior into confidence so that you have reliable witness to stand up for you when it comes down to your word against his.
• Keep a detailed diary or journal relating the incidents of sexual harassment as they occur. If you get any offensive or suggestive e-mails, save them to produce as proof later on.
• Clamp down on the hysteria. The more reasonable you seem when you relate your version of events, the more likely it is that people will believe you.
• Don’t confuse the company with the individual. Just because one person has made life miserable for you, it doesn’t mean that the company is at fault. If those in authority act against him swiftly and firmly, then absolve them of blame and move on.

You don’t have to put up with being sexually harassed. Ever. Stand tall and firm and get it taken care of before you are forced to wear short skirts and get your butt grabbed just so you can put food on the table.

Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “Double duty. One paycheck.”, email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.

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