You know you probably won’t win on your own merit, because let’s face it, you’re really not all that good.

But why should how deserving you are have ANYTHING to do with winning?

What’s an unethical blogger to do?

HOW NOT TO WIN A CONTEST:

1. Email people that you haven’t talked to in 6+ months and ask them to vote for you. 
2. Email people who you don’t really know but you happen to have their email address and ask them to vote for you.
3. If people don’t vote for you after the first email, keep emailing them until they do. Fill up their inbox!  THAT will make them want to vote for you.
4. Email everyone you know and all the people you hardly know and ask them to make up fake accounts in order to vote for you.
5. Ask people to forward your email to all the people they know (and even the ones they hardly know) asking THOSE people to vote for you.
6. Email all the bloggers who have more traffic than you do and ask them to dedicate a post on their blog to you and your contest. They owe it to you, after all, because they have traffic and you don’t. 
7. If you email bloggers and ask them to post about you, and then they don’t, keep emailing them.  If you email them enough times they’ll probably change their mind.
8. Set up a Facebook account called “VOTE FOR ME” and invite all your Facebook friends to join it.
9. The last day of the contest, start a contest countdown. Email everyone hourly reminders about voting and faking voting and forwarding the email to their friends.  You don’t have anything better to do, so they probably don’t either.

Did I forget anything?

(You realize that this is sarcastic, right?  RIGHT?)

© Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburn’s humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “On Blogging,” email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

This is step 3 in The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-step program, in which we work on correcting our blog/life balance.

In this session, we’re going to focus on analyzing our blogging.  Then we’ll use this self-analysis to make positive change. 

Ready?

Good.

Analyze it

Pull out a clean sheet of paper and a good pen.  Put on some jazzy music and pour yourself a glass of wine.  It’s time for some introspection, baby!

Think about these questions.

1) Why do I blog?

2) What about blogging stresses me out?

3) What do I do under the guise of “blogging” purely because of habit, or because I think I should?

4) What do I truly enjoy about blogging?

5) What are my goals from blogging?

These are tough questions, so don’t expect that you’ll get them answered all pat with your t’s crossed and i’s dotted the first go-round.  Take a stab and then let it simmer for a few days.  Revisit your answers and make edits.  When you feel good about your list, move on to the next step.

Refocus

Pull out the brainstorming you did.  I’m going to walk you through how to use that information to refocus your blogging efforts.

1) Why do you blog

Look at the reasons that you wrote down.  Evaluate each reason for the following:

- is this healthy?
- is this realistic?
- is this maintainable?
- is blogging the best way to accomplish this goal?

This isn’t easy.  These questions require a lot of self-reflection and honesty.  But it’s worth it.

2) What about blogging stresses me out?

3) What do I do under the guise of “blogging” purely because of habit, or because I think I should?

The next part is easy.  I want you to look at what you wrote down for #2 and #3. 

Now stop doing every single one of them.  Seriously, STOP.  Don’t do those things until you feel like you want to again. No matter how important you think they are. 

You know what?  You probably won’t miss them.

4) What do I truly enjoy about blogging?

Now that you’ve cut out a whole lot of stuff from #2 and #3, you have more time.  Give yourself permission to spend MORE time doing the things that you enjoy.

Every time you feel drawn to do something under #2 or #3, consult this list and choose something here instead.

5) What are my goals for blogging?

Look at your blog as it is today.  Is this blog in line with your goals?  If not, how can you bring it in line with your goals?

Create an action plan of at least three concrete things you can do to move your blogging activities more in line with your long-term goals.

To infinity and beyond

I wish I could say “goodbye and you’re healed.”

But the truth is, this is a process. 

The next time you feel like you’re getting in over your head, do a bloggy detox and take a 2-week vacation.  Or re-read step 2.  Or go through the answers for step 3.  Or redo the whole process.

It’s your turn

Now I want to hear from you… your thoughts on the process.  Where are you at?  What are you excited about?  Let’s motivate and inspire each other, shall we?

© Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

Subscribe to ‘On Blogging’ | Subscribe to Seattle Mom Blogs

Catch more of Jenny Blackburn’s humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “On Blogging,” email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

Without further ado, here are my scintillating interview answers:

1. Where do you live and how long have you lived there? Where did you grow up?
We live in on the Plateau. Hehehe. I know. I know. So snotty to say the *finger quote* Plateau *end finger quote*. Imagine mommies in matching tennis whites, perfectly whitened teeth, frosty platinum highlights, having Botox parties saying with pursued lips, “Pla-teauuuuu.” (By the way, I’m not one of those mommies.) Or is it better to say Sammamish? I know it sure as Sam Spade isn’t when you are trying to relay your address over the phone. Sa-mam-mish. “Sha-mame-ash?” The operators ask. No, Sa-mam-mish. “Sta-beam-itch?” Sigh. S-a-m-m-a-m-i-s-h. You know. Near Issaquah. Cue crickets.

So, we have lived here 3 years this month. We came from the Bay Area. I know. Hiss. We got sick of the schools, the real estate, the smog, the traffic, of everything in California. So we trotted online and used a splendiferous tool to find our “Best Place.” Surprise! Seattle popped up. We decided to be brave. My husband took his job with him and we found a realtor. We searched place to place on the Eastside, with a trusty file of every school’s test scores, comments from PTA board (yes, being a former PTA president I emailed every PTA board of every school and neighborhood we looked at), and Seattle Times Ranking. We’ve never looked back.

I grew up in the Bay Area, Livermore to be exact, went to Berkeley and met my husband there. I then started my life with my him, a former Army captain and infant son, first for a few brutal months in the Ozarks (Missouri) which made this California girl from Berkeley twitch with the Confederate flags, gun racks, sewage lagoons, and amazing amount of stray dogs dumped near our apartment. Then it was off to the interior of Alaska for four long years. Fairbanks! Best and worst place I’ve lived in my life. The Northern Lights, the moose, the midnight sun, and the 2 hours of daylight in winter. I survived 67 degrees below zero with two small children. Shiver! I put booties on my dogs so they could go outside to pee. I sprayed water on dry, powdery snow just so my kids could make snow balls and snow men. I survived six long, cold winter months homebound alone with a toddler when my husband was deployed to the Sinai Peace Keeping Mission in Egypt. Alaska gave me the greatest gift of my daughter born one cold October morning at -30. I wouldn’t trade Alaska for the world, but when we got out of the army, we went home. Meanwhile, in California, real estate had sky rocketed as had crime, traffic, and inferior schools. We hung on for 5 years, then ended up here. We LOVE it!

2. What’s your blog about and why did you start blogging?
My blog is a kitchen drawer. It is ill-defined and often stream of consciousness. I do blog politics and I should get out right now I am probably the only agnostic Republican, former Army Lieutenant, in Seattle that supports gay marriage, environmental issues, the Iraq war, and animal rights that wishes the Republican religious right would get out of her party. However, I highly respect others’ opinions and love when people respectfully stop by to stir the pot at my blog. I also mommy blog about my 3 children–a lot! I blog about my period and dreams of uterine ablation–a lot. I blog about my metro sexual, computer geek of a husband and his sexual harassment and white socks. I blog about my kids’ competitive swimming since it consumes our lives. I blog incessantly about my love of anything cocktail or made from Cabernet. And, yes, my friends, on occasion I blog about the craziness that is living on the Pla-teauuuu.

I started blogging in 2006 because my husband blogged and the bugger was always stealing my material. I would make a joke and the next week it would be on his blog. I would have an idea and magically it would be on his blog. I think it might have been his way of getting me to start blogging. I called him an Idea Succubus, but finally gave in with this first set of blogs.

3. What are your most and least favorite parts about blogging?
My favorite part of blogging is hands down meeting friends I might never, ever have met without my blog. Rural central California, metropolitan Los Angeles, teeny islands off the French channel, British babes, small towns in the Midwest, humid Florida, and yes, my friends spread all over the Northwest. They listen to my drivel. They come in droves when I need back up. They make me realize I am not insane for how I feel. And best yet, they call me on my ideas and make me often re-think what I believe. My blog is filled with people who found me through my words, not from where I live and who I know since I have never told anyone about my blog, including family and friends. Those people have sometimes discovered me, but I don’t promote my blog to people I know willingly because I want to be free to write about my nonexistent sex drive, sometimes crappy mothering skills, my marital woes, my incontinent dog, and my politics without sympathetic looks at the next PTA meeting or family holiday dinner.

My least favorite is the stress of blogging and keeping up readership–being a slave to my blog. Then in comes the high school part of women blogging: worrying about popularity and who likes who, who takes offense or misunderstands what you stay, the drama, the bitch slapping, and the trolls. Sometimes blogging turns into a Jerry Springer sideshow act. So with stress and drama, I habitually have nervous breakdowns every couple months and take a month off.

4. What does your spouse/significant other/family think about your blogging?
My husband absolutely loves me blogging, even when it’s used as a tool of public therapy and, yes I admit, blackmail in our marriage. I let people weigh in. Nothing is sacred. One sister who discovered my blog is a big supporter. Never comments, but emails me so I forgive her. My biggest fear would be my parents and my MIL, who I haven’t spoken to in 4 years, discovering my blog.

5. What goals, if any, do you have for your blog?
Goals: Hmmm. More friends, more comments, and more readers, in that order. I recently had a milestone where I was able to pay for a whole meal of Chipotle burritos off the proceeds of my blog. Whooo-hoo! Maybe next year I’ll spring for extra guacamole. A girl’s got to have dreams, my friends.

6. What topic would you never discuss on your blog? (Yes, discuss it now!)
Honestly, there is nothing that is verboten. I dislike my husband’s wardrobe, I share it with you. I have no sex drive and moan about it all the time. I voted for George Bush and admit it. I have child molesters in my family and I freely discuss it. My kids do something horribly embarrassing? Odds are it shows up on my blog. I even blog sometimes on the toilet. My husband’s vasectomy failed and is a frequent subject. Sorry too much info? I have no filter when it comes to my blog. None.

7. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Hands down, I am a dog person. We’ve had our 2 rescued dogs longer than our children. Grendel is 14, survived cancer, and still putters on like a puppy most days. $2000 in one month’s vet bills later, I wouldn’t trade her for the world. The other, Sebastian, is my hero, my ferocious defender, my friend, my spider eater, my shadow. It will be soul-shattering when they die.

8. What’s your favorite coffee drink? (This IS Seattle Mom Blogs!)
My favorite coffee drink is a bit embarrassing since it does show my addictions to caffeine, fat and sugar: Venti Italian roast brewed coffee, 2 shots espresso, splash of cream, 1 equal, with whip cream. Num! Starbucks will make it for me, but it’s better when my husband makes it.

I noticed this interview is pretty long. Oops, did I forget to mention that my readers call me “Windy Douchehole?” Yep, I am known for being Windy. Love me or leave me.

Many Regards,
Scout’s Honor

Thank you, Scout, for your, er, ummm, candid interview! We expect no less!

Meanwhile, Wendy is being less candid at her blog, Let the dog in! You can reach her at wendy(ahhht)letthedogin(doggit)com where she promises to be more candid.

1. Where do you live and how long have you lived there? Where did you grow up? My husband and I live in West Seattle with our two-year-old son and two manic cats. I have lived in Seattle for the past seven years and before that I lived on a tiny island in the Pacific called Saipan. Saipan is a gorgeous island with temperate weather and jaw-droppingly stunning sunsets. But I’ve made Seattle my home now and I don’t mind the rain one bit. I’ve lived all my life with fierce typhoons–light sprinkling is nothing.

2. What’s your blog about and why did you start blogging?
My blog is called “Kirida,” (www.kirida.com). The word “kirida” means favorite child in my native language, Chamorro. I started blogging in 1999 and I was Blogger’s 1,000th blogger. I was a junior in high school and I needed to have an outlet that static pages like tripod, angelfire and geocities couldn’t provide. There’s only so many midi’s and lightning bolts a 17-year-old can take! I shut down for a while before starting back up in 2004. Since then, I’ve blogged about college, pregnancy, marriage, motherhood and Javier Bardem love. Swoon!

3. What are your most and least favorite parts about blogging?
My favorite part about blogging is connecting to people in ways I wouldn’t be able to in my day-to-day life. I’ve blogged about personal issues like connecting with other mothers or losing touch with friends and whenever I’ve felt utterly vulnerable in these confessions, I am flooded with warmth and high-fives and reminders that I am not alone. I’ve also made several genuine friendships thanks to my blog. Bloggers are just awesome people to have around, both online and off. My least favorite part about blogging has to be the trolls who leave vitriolic comments because they can. Thankfully, most people who visit my blog play nice.

4. What does your spouse/significant other/family think about your blogging? My husband loves it. At first, I think he was feeling a bit orphaned by the amount of time I spent blogging or reading blogs, but he’s seen the true benefits. We met our real estate agent thanks to a blog reader and I have received some pretty sweet swag thanks to my blog. My other family members love my blog because they can keep up with my life in Seattle. My mother doesn’t understand blogging at all and thinks this whole “internet” is way too public. So I just tell her that my blog is an online dedication to the Virgin Mary and we keep it at that.

5. What goals, if any, do you have for your blog? I would like to post more videos. I have an awesome Flip Video camera and I need to unleash its magical powers.

6. What topic would you never discuss on your blog? (yes, discuss it now!) I would never discuss my in-laws or my workplace. Politics are also off-limits only because I don’t think I can do a proper job discussing it. I prefer to keep my blog light-hearted and funny. I prefer to talk about bedroom antics, old Nickelodeon my flabby stomach, issues where I am a definitive font of knowlege.

7. Are you a cat person or a dog person? We have two cats. My husband brought a cat into our marriage so by default, I’m with the felines.

8. What’s your favorite coffee drink? (this IS Seattle Mom Blogs!) I love white chocolate mochas with whipped cream. Whenever the barista asks if I want whipped cream, I yell, “YES!” before taking it down a notch with, “Yes, please, thank you.”

Thank you to you, Mona, for sharing a bit about yourself!

On other news, Wendy is still blogging at Let the dog in! and letting her dog in, and out… You can notify her of any prizes she might have won at wendy(aht)letthedogin(dawt)com.

This is step 1 in The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-step program, in which we work on correcting our blog/life balance.

For the first part of this journey, the bloggy chiropractor prescribes that you take a MANDATED blog vacation of a minimum of 2 weeks.

WHAT!?!  you may gasp, TWO WEEKS?! I CAN’T DO THAT!

I’m here to tell you that you can.

And you should.

It’ll be good for you.  Seriously.

I know because I did it.  

And now I’m here to walk you through it.

Why a blog vacation?

Taking at least two weeks off from blogging is the natural starting place on this journey because it gives us a little thing called perspective. It’s really, really hard… impossible, even… to have perspective when we’re down in the trenches of bad habits.  It’s only when we come up for air and start living life again that we can see clearly.

I am mandating two weeks (minimum!) because we need at least that long to really get perspective.  One week is too short.  And although four weeks would be EVEN BETTER… let’s be honest. If I told you to take a month, would you?  I didn’t think so.

How to take a blog vacation

But what about my blog?!

The easiest way to take a blog vacation is to just stop blogging- cold turkey- for two weeks.  I honestly think that for most of us this little blip in our blogging activity would go relatively unnoticed in the grand old blogosphere.

However.  If you’re too scared to do this (like me!) another option is to sit down for a couple of hours and write out enough posts to carry your blog through during the time that you’ll be actively NOT blogging.  Set the posts to go up automatically and then don’t look back.  Trust me, your readers will never know that you’re not really there behind the curtain.

But what will I DO?!

Now, before you kick off your vacation, I want you to write out a list of all the things you’ve been wanting and needing to do. 

…organize the closet
…submit an article for publication
…start an exercise program
…research a new camera
…read that one book
…sign up for salsa dancing lessons

We all have those things that we’ve had on the back burner for a year or two or twenty… write them down!  Star the ones that you’re excited about.  Decorate your list using markers and stickers and fancy paper.  Get excited about the possibility of GETTING STUFF DONE! 

Now post the list on the fridge or (better) over the top of your computer screen. 

Note: This in no way is meant to imply that you should accomplish everything on your list during the 2-week time period.  The list is merely a means to remind you of ALL THE OTHER THINGS that you can do instead of blogging.  You know, in case you need reminding.

What about the rules?!

Ok, for those of you who need RULES, here they are.

While on bloggy vacation there shall be:

1) No blogging
2) No checking your stats
3) No reading comments
4) No checking your reader.  Don’t even THINK about looking at it.
5) You can choose a few of your favorite blogs to read.  You may not comment on these blogs; however, as you should ONLY be reading them for enjoyment.

Now, in the words of the sneakers, JUST DO IT.

Then check back in two weeks to read Step 2!

© Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburn’s humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “On Blogging,” email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

As some of you may know, we are going to start a feature here to learn a little about our members, one by one, in the form of mini-interviews.

Maybe we’ll post them weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly…. We’ll play that part by ear (I’m not Marsha Brady after all!).

If you want to be interviewed, leave a comment on this post, and I’ll email you the interview questions. We’ll go in order of comments received.

I’m looking forward to Getting to Know Youuuuuuu!

Wendy is also looking forward to blogging about her life on Bainbridge Island at Let the dog in! You can reach her at wendy(at)seattlemomblogs.com.

The rest of us bloggers howl in surprise, throw our hands in the air and gasp CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! while deep down inside we’re wondering if next year that will be us.

This year, amidst the chaotic BlogHer swagalicious love fest, I finally got it.

I was standing in a steaming hot shower washing off a long day’s small talk and big talk and party talk when the waters seemed to part and one thought stood clear in my mind.

I need to stop blogging.

In that moment, I saw my life as it is now, and I saw it as it could be without the blog.

And, in that moment, the sans-blog life looked pretty darn good.

For the first time I honestly acknowledged the toll that blogging takes on my time, my energy, my relationships, my LIFE.

But let’s be honest with each other here; this WASN’T the first time I realized the toll that blogging takes on my time, energy, and relationships. Right?  Right.

No, the difference this night is that before I always thought it was worth it. In this moment, I realize that it isn’t.

Something about being at BlogHer made me see with frightening clarity how CAUGHT UP we all have become in what too often amounts to a massive popularity contest… an ultimate expression of selfishness and egomania.

“LOOK AT ME” each woman seems to shout, “I AM IMPORTANT!”

And while I believe from the bottom of my heart that every woman is important, I also believe that this realization is the beginning, not the end of our journey.

Reveling in our self-importance, our uniqueness, our specialness… stopping here is not a good thing.

Rather we should claim our importance and then move forward to do something important with our lives.  To make a difference in the lives around us… to make our short time here meaningful.

The thing that scares me the most about blogging is that something so shallow should take up so much of my precious time.

I count myself lucky that I had this realization while in SF, because I was able to have real conversations with a handful of friends, most of whom have blogged much longer than I have.  All expressed similar fears and concerns.  One has since stopped blogging.  Another has published her intent to back off. 

And me?

I’m torn.

On one hand, I think that my in-the-shower moment was probably dead on.  That I need to move on with my life.

On the other hand, I feel that maybe I can transform the role that blogging plays in my life to something better. Something enriching.

Because the truth is, there is a part of blogging that is good for me.  The writing.  The creativity.  The introspection.

Is it possible to harness the good and minimize the bad?

I want to believe that what I need is a readjustment… a visit to the great bloggy chiropractor, if you will.  So I’m on a mission to do just that.  To find balance. 

Over the next few weeks, I plan to do some posts here on steps that I’m taking to get myself readjusted… closer to where I want to be; to a place where blogging is contributing positively to my life. 

But for now I want to hear from you.  Where do you stand on this issue?  Have you ever considered giving up blogging?  And what are your biggest struggles in the blog/life balance?

© Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburn’s humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for “On Blogging,” email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

With a lot of trial and error, I’ve learned to grind it to make my own fresh bread, pancakes and cereal. I even sprout it and add it to salads and cereal for a little healthy boost. Sometime soon I’ll write a detailed post on the art of lovely bread (It’s lovely most of the time except when it flops, but even that’s a daring adventure).

For now I want to tell you about a great little cookbook sent to me from the Wheat Foods Council. Apparently 2008 is a big fat anniversary year for wheat (who knew?) and they’re celebrating with the release of a cute little cookbook full of great wheat recipes.

Food for Thought is a fun propaganda piece for my favorite grain and comes complete with 35 recipes that use wheat to make everything from muffins to main dishes. Many of the recipes are simple and can be made with or by kids so get it for them and watch your Mother’s Day breakfasts improve. It’s a fun book with some fresh ideas and definitely worth the $3.50 asking price. Proceeds from the sale of the cookbooks will go towards their non-profit educational organization Spoons Across America.

“Spoons Across America works to influence the eating habits of children through hands-on-education that celebrates the connection to local farmers and the important tradition of sharing meals around the family table.” – www.wheatfoods.org

**By The Book is a series within a series where I will highlight some of my old favorite cookbooks as well as some new and interesting ones that are currently on the market. Hopefully one or two will appeal to you and we’ll all get a little more daring around the kitchen. **

A co-founder of Seattle Mom Blogs, professional blogger Kathryn Thompson writes too much at Daring Young Mom, The Parenting Post, and anywhere else people are willing to read. She enjoys eating cheese and playing high stakes Uno with 4-year-olds. If you’re cute enough, she will probably blow on your tummy unmercifully. You can contact Kathryn by email - kathryn [at] seattlemomblogs.com.

Well from the get-go we knew we wanted to adopt siblings. It’s harder to find families to adopt groups of siblings; most people, understandably, only want to take on one child at a time. We don’t have any kids, though, and we’re a bit older, financially secure and have a solid relationship. Why not take on more? After all, who wants to go through this entire process a second time?! And at the same time, we can feel good about giving a home to children who might otherwise not get chosen.

At first we thought we’d look at groups of two and three, but our social worker suggested that since we are first-time parents that we might want to stick to just two. So we took her advice and have been focusing on sibling pairs.

Gender? We really want to experience raising kids of both sexes. Since we can choose, why not? I grew up in a home with all girls, and always wanted a brother. (According to my parents, being the 3rd kid I was their last ditch hope for a boy – oh well.) A brother never happened so I’d really like to experience having a boy running around the house. As for the girl, what can I say? Being a woman I’d like to have a girl to share those girly experiences with. (No need to worry, I won’t dress us in matching outfits. I’m not that girly.)

Race? No preference. A child is a child and we know we’ll have no trouble being able to love a child of another race. Cultural background? Religious background? We are very open people and also have no preference for these either. We will love our children for who they are, unconditionally, and will nurture their individuality.

Our age range is 3 – 10. After The Great Diaper Debacle of 2008 I realize a 3-year old is pushing it, so I’m secretly hoping we won’t end up with a kid that young. Ideally our age range would actually be 5 – 8, but the smaller we make our range the harder it will be to find a match. In the end what matters more than anything is that the children are a good fit for us so we can be the best parents we can be for them. So if we end up with a 3-year old I’ll deal with the possibility of potty issues. Maybe I’ll just need to keep a bucket handy while I change a diaper or wipe a bootie. Ewww.

So we’re set, right? Our agency knows our preferences and started searching on our behalf. We began scouring the online photo listings looking for our future kids. But we kept seeing groups of three. The bigger the group the harder it is to find families willing to adopt them. Is three really too much? Well sure, it probably is for anyone, but could we do it? And more importantly, do we want to do it?

As Bill and I discussed it he said something that really touched me. “I feel like it’s our calling; to adopt the kids that no one wants to adopt.” I feel exactly the same way. We are realistic, though, and know we have limits. There are certain special needs we just can’t take on. But if sibling sets of three are hard to place, then we’re willing to step up to the plate for those kids. That’s something we feel we can do. So we talked to our agency and widened our search.

I told another writer pal (Janna over at Moms Like Sex Too) about us considering sibling groups of three. Just about every person we’ve told looks at us with wide, disbelieving eyes and a look on their face that says, Are you insane? Janna was no exception. “You probably think we’re crazy, right?” I said, expecting her to be polite and tell me we’re not.

Instead, she surprised me. “Oh, you are crazy,” she said assuredly. “But that just means you’re exactly the right people to do it.”

She has a point.

I don’t think it’s the fact that we are considering three kids that freaks people out, but the fact that we would be adopting all three at once. Yes I know it’s a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy. Maybe we are, in fact, insane. But when I picture our future family I don’t see one kid sitting with us at the dinner table, I see many. Maybe even more than three. (Oh don’t worry. We won’t take on more than three at once. We’re crazy, but not that crazy.) Maybe after this first round we will adopt again. I don’t know. Only time will tell what the future holds. But for right now, at this time in our lives, this feels right. Maybe Janna is right. The fact that we’re crazy enough to even consider it just might mean we should.

And who knows. Just because we widened our search to include groups of three doesn’t mean the children we are matched with will be three siblings. We might get chosen for a set of two. But part of me is really hoping for three. What can I say? Call me crazy.

This entry also posted with the Seattle PI.
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In addition to being a writer and aspiring mom, Susan Metters also carries the distinguished title of Cancer Survivor Extraordinaire. Some of her secret ambitions include meeting Dr. Phil, hosting Saturday Night Live, and rising to the top as a rock star. You can read more about Susan’s life adventures by visiting her blog with the Seattle P.I., Lemon Margaritas. If you have ideas, questions, rants, or ramblings feel free to email susan [at] seattlemomblogs [dot] com.

You may be surprised to know that most authentic Chinese dishes do not involve breaded meats (the kind you find in almost every American Chinese restaurant) and General Tsao chicken is actually an American dish (no such dish exists outside of the USA). You may also be shocked, even, to know that people do not usually eat noodles as a side dish to rice, or rice as a side dish to noodles. If you order noodles, you often don’t order rice (to be eaten with side dishes of meats and/or vegetables) and vice versa. You just don’t.

If I were to give an analogy for Malaysian food in terms of American cuisine (as far as being “different” goes), I would approximate it as exotic as perhaps Cajun or Creole cuisine, as distinct in flavor and ingredients as Mexican, and sometimes, even as comforting and decadent as Southern cooking.

In terms of taste, Malaysian food is not unlike Thai cuisine, especially in the Northern states. If you have sampled Indonesian cuisine, we’re closer. Malaysian food also includes in large Chinese derivatives like dim sum and dumpling soup like won ton, as well as Northern and Southern Indian cuisine like naan bread, dosa, all the lovely curries and roti prata (think pan-fried egg pancakes made with “ghee” aka clarified butter). Because we’re a melting pot of Malays (an indigenous race descended from Indians and/or natives who are Muslims), Chinese, Indians and other races, our cuisine can vary very widely. Yet, there are quite a few dishes, contributed by each culture and race, that we as Malaysians collectively enjoy, that can be rounded up into a category called “Malaysian food”. 

As far as I know, there are only two (mainly) Malaysian restaurants in Seattle. One is called the Malay Satay Hut (two branches, one in Bellevue and one in Seattle - IMHO, not very good), and the other is Salina (have not tried it yet). When I say “mainly”, it means they declare themselves to be Malaysian and the word “Malaysian” appears more than twice on the menu. This also means much of the menu center around authentic Malaysian cuisine - dishes I can find back home - and only a small portion catering to what American patrons are used to, such as some Vietnamese and Thai dishes. After all, Malaysian cuisine is not as popular as these two.

I must say this: as far as Malaysian Indian cuisine goes, much of it you can sample in a regular Indian restaurant. Indian restaurants and eateries in Malaysia have managed to keep much of their authenticity compared to what’s available in India with only a few derivatives such as their “mee mamak”, a noodle stir-fry that you won’t find in India but only in Indian stalls and coffee shops in Malaysia.

Which leads me to Malaysian Chinese cuisine, which has become so uniquely Malaysian because of how the Chinese came to populate Malaya, that you will never find Malaysian Chinese cuisine in any Chinese restaurant in the world (except for Malaysia of course - not even in Singapore, no way).

From our spicy stir-fries to our double-boiled soups and ESPECIALLY to our unique “nyonya” (pronounced “neon-yeah”) or “peranakan” (pronounced “purr-anuck-un”) dishes (a distinct Malaysian subculture with roots that trace back to the forming of Malaya), Malaysian Chinese cuisine is more Malaysian sometimes than it is Chinese, so much so that anyone from any part of China or Taiwan visiting here will not recognise it.

So what can you expect when dining in a Malaysian restaurant? Spice, spice and more spice. Of course, here in America, waiters in any Southeast Asian restaurant (Thai, Vietnamese, Singaporean, Indonesian, Cambodian, Indian) are trained to ask “how hot? One to Five?” and I reckon so will those in a Malaysian one.

What dishes should you order? Try for a beef “rendang“, a uniquely Malaysian dry curry (low on fluids), to eat with “nasi lemak“, rice cooked in coconut milk and essence of pandan (an aromatic leaf that smells a little like vanilla). Order, if available, also a “sambal“, preferably one made from anchovies, as it is a sweet and savory spicy chilli paste that’s used to stew with the anchovies into a lovely side dish.

For a fish dish, try the “curry fish head” (which, I promise you, is NOT a “uniquely Singaporean” dish), which I promise is not as iffy as it sounds. Ask them to discard the head if you like, and to give you more of the preferred parts of the fish, but this soupy delicacy made with okra, eggplant and a few other vegetables is sure to tantalize your tastebuds that you’ll return for more. And after this wonderfully simple meal (washed down, without a doubt, jugs of iced water), ask for a dessert of “nyonya kuih-muih“, which are little cakes not unlike the Thai sweet treats, or perhaps a bowl of congee-like Chinese “tong sui“, literally “sugar water”, which are bowls of hot or cold desserts. You can try something tame, such as a bowl of bean curd in a sweet syrup (Chinese caramel) or perhaps you’re brave enough for something with sweet glutinuous rice. And if you’re truly fearless, try durian - a Southeast Asian fruit with spikes on the outside to protect the “gold” within, a sweet but aggressively-scented meat which has most of us Malaysians all dubbing it the “king of fruits”.

So the next time you’re dining out, why not give Malaysian cuisine a whirl? And if you happen to love it, try making some with recipes from sites such as Recipezaar’s, which has 100+ Malaysian recipes (although I’ve not tried them so I’m not sure how authentic they are). And email me anytime for any “newbie” recipes you might like to try out.

All this talk about Malaysian food is making me hungry. My mother-in-law is frying up some Ayam Belacan (chicken in prawn paste) and she’s also whipping up some “joo hoo char”, a Nyonya vegetable dish that’s a big favorite in our house. Enjoy and *jom makan!

*Malaysian for “let’s eat!”

Read more of Jennifer Tai’s writing at The I’mPerfect Mom. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Tea Leaf Journals, email jenn[at]theimperfectmom[dot]com.

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